#basically my entire library
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Rules: shuffle your likes or your favorite playlist and post the first ten tracks
Baby bug - Natalie Claro
The World Would Run Better - KONGOS
Jenny Was a Friend of Mine - American Murder Song
Grow Back - The Happy fits
Mostly - Vian Izak, Juniper Vale
Geraldine's Routine - Tape Five
Light My Love - Greta Van Fleet
Second Night of Summer - Borns
Novocaine - The Unlikely Candidates
Blood // Water - grandson
Tagged by @gaysadilla
Tagging @the-beef-man@necromancymom@a-quaint-device@hemo-goblin-a1c
#my post#a decent array ngl#i was casting a pretty wide net with this shuffle#basically my entire library
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Writing game: post the last line that you wrote and tag someone for every word in the line.
tagged by @wolfspurr! thanks for thinking of me, ladybug!
this is just... not gonna make any sense and it's not even close to the last line i've written of this sterek fic, just the last line i've fiddled with (i'm having a love affair with the magic in it, what can i say)
He pulls and pulls and pulls, his hands growing slick with his own blood, sweat pouring down his back, spitting glass and pink saliva, until heâs yanked the last of it from the ground and the plant stutters, reshapes, and a woman is lying on the ground.
tagging (i'm not gonna do every word 'cause i am a run-on sentence nightmare, as per yooj, but uhhh): @piratefalls, @andavs, @alocalband, @kikiroo, @rosieposiepuddingnpie and anyone else who wants in!
also, uhhh, context below if you're curious (stiles is fine, i swear) :)
He had expected a hallway, some pathway between one place and the next, but instead heâs in a room with rich, heavy curtains, a gold thread glittering through the â no, endless open windows looking out onto a vast â an overstuffed greenhouse, sprawling with â a moth-eaten pool hall, the click of â a stable so dilapidated that he can feel drops of â a corner wreathed in shad â Stiles grabs his chin and pulls it low so Derekâs wide eyes meet his.
He murmurs softly, âHow âbout I take this one, big guy?â Derek blinks at him. He doesnât understand the request but he doesnât understand most of whatâs gone on today. In the same tone, Stiles prompts, âYou remember what weâre looking for?â
And the second Derek does, thereâs a snap thatâs not so much sound as it is the rush of air settling and the soles of his boots sink into soft peat. The wet scent of moss and mud and still water overwhelms him and a bout of light-headedness threatens to level him. He takes a step with the express purpose of planting his feet and opens his eyes, not remembering closing them.
Branches crowd them overhead, one mere inches from the top of his head, the gentle rustle of its leaves in the barely noticeable breeze tickling along his every sense. He canât see the pond or bog or marsh but he can smell it. Instead thereâs dirt and trees and petals and seeds and slithering, clomping sounds in heavy underbrush.
âWh â ere are we?â His voice is croaky, feeling the intimidation his squared shoulders are fighting back.
Stiles steps lightly through the growth. âArchives,â he says, his voice fading as the buzz of a dragonfly drifts closer for a moment, âI thought you were all about silent observation? Only said it right in front of your face.â He stills a moment, tuts, and then looks down at his feet.
He wiggles his bare toes against the soft mud, bends down to roll up his jeans midway up his calves. He sniffs. âBetter.â
âWhatââ
Stiles glances back at him, brow furrowing. âTell me you werenât expecting⌠what? File cabinets? Licenses and bureaucracy? Itâs fucking magic, Broody Butt.â He looks up, pulls down something globular and doesnât hesitate to take a bite out of it.
His hair flutters as though caught in a strong storm, his eyes flare a color Derek doesnât have in his vocabulary, and his toes dig into the dirt. He tosses the fruit Derek doesnât recognize over his shoulder.
âThat was â â
âPure magical energy,â Stiles says with a nod, as though that was what Derek was going to say. âThe registry, itâs not too Big Brother or too worrywart about it these days so most mages participate without any civil servants having to knock down their doors. The consequence to using unregistered magic is punitive enough that itâs worth the few hours of answering a fussy librarianâs questions and giving a little light show.â
Derek considers that, ducking under a branch after Stiles. He reaches towards a bush, pulls off a few berries and rolls them between his palms. After a few revolutions, he crushes them flat, but what escapes isnât juice, itâs steam. He breathes it in, taking it deep into his lungs.
He exhales it out, the smoke forming a scythe in the air in front of him.
Derek watches Stiles for the verdict, which is given in the form of him simply turning and moving on.
For some reason, Derek is hesitant to voice it but â âYour own magic is here then.â
âAre you doubting my love for rule-following, Derek?â Derek opens his mouth because, for once, he hadnât been seeking to insult Stiles but he grins back over his shoulder, revealing it had been a joke he had meant to share. Oh. They didnât really do that and he can see the way Stilesâ grin strains realizing it. Theyâre not him and Laura. Theyâre never going to be. He still gamely adds, âI mightâve needed my door knocked but, yeah, itâs here.â
âWhat does it taste like,â Derek asks, not certain why heâs curious, only sure that he is.
Stiles pauses, a thoughtful expression on his face. Derek hadnât thought he would answer, and that if he did, it would be flippant and throwaway. Instead thereâs care and concentration to his words. âKind of⌠barren. But not â not empty, more⌠expectant? The way flat landscape can host tornadoes or lightning storms or pouring rain or a stampede. Itâs that second before it rushes in on your tongue. It tastes like raised flesh and hot blood and leaping stomachs.â He blinks, losing the glaze over his eyes. His tongue darts across his lower lip, soothing. âThatâs what it tastes like.â
And Derek wants to taste⌠it.
Stiles swallows, breaking eye contact, plaid overshirt billowing with how hastily he turns. Derek follows carefully after him, cataloguing each body part to reassure himself he has control over them since that had felt precarious in a way he canât quite articulate.
Stiles burns a feather whose smoke twists into letters, plants an acorn that explodes in a cloud of confetti which rearranges into a map of some podunk water park in Arkansas, and digs at roots that dig back at him.
Derek waves a hand at the gnats buzzing in a cluster too-near his ear. âI thought we only had five minutes?â
Stiles snorts. âWhich is why Iâve made us so hard to find,â he jazz hands with his fingers, crouches down and pops a buttercup into his mouth.
Derek slams into him, hard, not having expected the way heâs frozen.
The scent of blood is a sudden and thick aroma surrounding them and Stiles turns, a cheery pink (artificial) blush on his cheeks and gobs of red dripping from his mouth, over his chin and dribbling down his neck. He opens his mouth on glass shards that have the spongy look of petals. Something flickers and itâs so fast Derek canât catch it, doesnât know if it was his eyes or his face or just a shadow, butââItâs her.â
Before Derek can react, Stiles has spun around and is tearing up the entire root system growing the buttercups. He pulls and pulls and pulls, his hands growing slick with his own blood, sweat pouring down his back, spitting glass and pink saliva, until heâs yanked the last of it from the ground and the plant stutters, reshapes, and a woman is lying on the ground.
âWhat theââ
âName,â Stiles snarls at her.
Sheâs carefully getting to her feet from the prone position sheâd reformed in. Sheâs in her thirties maybe, attractive, with short curly hair and red lips and a thick waist. She smooths a hand down the back of her overalls, as though checking for dirt. She shakes a leaf from her boat shoes. âDelia Pritchett.â
Stiles eyes her coldly. âInformation.â
She ruffles her hair from the bottom, stands up a little straighter. Her eyes arenât focused on Stiles, theyâre resting somewhere in the middle distance as though the prompt is coming from an unseen source. âFormerly of the Lafferty coven, because who can take that seriously? Current member of the Craven coven.â She half-laughs. âHard to beat that. Alliterative and established.â
Stiles slices a hand towards her and it slides right through her neck, vanquishing the image as he says, âEnough.â
Derek opens his mouth âÂ
Stiles lets out a depthless yet somehow mostly silent scream. âWe donât even know them! Craven? Theyâre upstate, rural, why the fuck â why would she â she had no reason to kill her,â his voice has risen to a crashing crescendo and birds Derek hadnât even heard were there take off from the treetops.
âWe need to leave,â Derek says sharply.
Stiles stares at him as though Derek is speaking a different language.
Derek snags him by the bicep, squeezes. âStiles, we need to go.â Stiles is gazing through him now, his eyes visibly trying to pin down a motive, something that will make sense of the answer heâs gotten, restringing his mental murder board into some semblance of order. Derek shakes him, roughly. âStiles.â He says it slowly: âYou havenât stopped bleeding.â
Stiles blinks up at him. Opens his hands palm-up. Theyâre torn to shreds. Blood keeps gushing up to cover his lips. He looks up at Derek again. âWe donât even know her. Our territories are nowhere near one anotherâs. She had no reas ââ
âStiles. I understand.â Heâs still speaking slowly, carefully, trying to make Stiles see past the immediate disappointment to the more immediate life or death situation. âDo you understand that your blood is not clotting?â
He flexes his fingers. âItâs magic,â he says, with a little shrug as though none of this matters, not compared to the reality that a woman they have no reason to know killed someone who meant more to them than words could describe, not to gain anything or settle some score but because she could.
So she did.
#that's not even.... most of that scene i was having fun in my library ^^#i would both really like to finish this fic and also have no desire to finish this fic LOL#stiles and derek have such a good relationship dynamic in it and i don not wanna let it go#they're so angry with but also dependent on each other#this is the one where laura is killed and while she and stiles were close stiles and derek never were#so now they have to refigure their entire relationship without the glue that was holding it together and it is SO. FUN.#i just got to them finally touching penises (like i said this was not even close to how far i've gotten just the last thing i messed with)#and man if THAT isn't gonna fuck with derek's head!! (as much as he considered his sexuality he def thought he was straight so)#writing that bit now deciding how much of a freak out i want him to have#i wanted it to be a lot but he's very like: i'm freaking out about being close to someone not THE someone and fuckin' a#i think he's right. MY WAY was more fun for me though! but he won't go along with me#sterek#teen wolf#wip wednesday#it's not but it also basically is so
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Me: man I haven't been able to get anything done maybe I should give up
The Alex Reed that shout-sings in my brain: PATIENCE!! AND FORTITUDE!! AND THINGS WILL GO YOUR WAY
Me: you're so right the Alex Reed that shout-sings in my brain
#seeming#post-punk#music talk#i want to make my grand return to academia i'm ready now let me back in there#i do think it's crazy how society is like ''your brain is mush until you're 25 you're basically not a person you can't think#anyway you're 18 time to decide your goals for the entire rest of your life and spend 4 years on the hardest mental labor you've ever done'#did you know Patience and Fortitude are the names of the NYC library lions? i looked it up because i didn't know what the sample was from#that's very interesting. how symbolic. :â×#ok i was going to tag it but i can't find the specific recording the actual sample is from
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hazbin hotel feels like whenever the most annoying athiest you know tries to #epicallypwn a Christian by making the most base level critique that rests on a fundamental misunderstanding of what Christians ideology actually entails. and then if they made a really mediocre adult cartoon about what an epic pwn it was.
#the entire argument hazbin attempts to make rests on a premise that is already a very robust argument within Christian communities#non-christians will meet a few nutso fundies and assume they understand what christianity is which is WILD.#like. i am not muslim i have not read the quran i do not closely know any muslims#hence why im not MAKING ARGUMENTS ABOUT WHAT MUHAMMAD ACTUALLY MEANT BASED OFF MY VERY BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF HIS TEACHINGS#and i get that christianity definitely doesnt have AS robust a library in this tradition as islam or judaism#but come ON. like one google search wouldve helped this show be good#to be clear i loved the show deeply obsessed with it i cant stop thinking about it. but it also is genuinely Bad and Not Good.#hazbin hotel critique
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Gay boys living through a 1980s tragedyâ˘
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Finished 2ha vol. 3.
Cannot wait for vol. 4.
Chu Wanning walking face-first into a tree, my beloved...
#unforth rambles#2ha#now I gotta figure out what to read next#probably all the queer manga i borrowed from the library#i've got two yuri series and a bl story and two starring a nonbinary character#i like never read yuri so this should be interesting#i am intentionally trying to broaden my reading horizons so that it's not ALL mlm#i mean that's not true i edit tons of non mlm i edited an entire wlw anthology#but like my leisure reading is basically all mlm
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one of the cooler things about being a grad student is that people just sort of let you do whatever if you say it's for research
#one of the librarians at the university library just straight up let me into a closed off location and said welp! do whatever you want!#it's wild#also something i didn't know in undergrad that would have probably been useful#is that if you email literally any professor with a question they WILL give you a bunch of useful information about the shit they know abou#like all I had to do was email this one woman and now I can basically write my entire paper#irl katrina
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silly!!
dawwwww you UuU

#sorry i keep using darkwing reaction pics but itâs basically my entirely photo library rn LAWL#asks#anon#this seriously made my morning though thank you <3#no id
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Can't believe I'm looking at Steam Decks...
I've been told they're selling refurbished ones now for cheaper? đ
Damnit.
#it does basically mean an entirely digital library of games#which I do NOT love#however#still infinitely cheaper than getting a decent gaming pc together#so...#it may be my only bet to play games that aren't available on mac/playstation/switch#and can also mean playing console/pc games in bed on bad pain days...#hmmm...#artschoolrambles
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I can't believe it's somehow Friday already, and I haven't posted yet about Sunday's May the Fourth Star Wars Nite at Disneyland. After my last post about my Batuu Bounding projects a little over a week ago, I finished sewing the clasps onto my vest, gave it one last press, and called it done. I'm so pleased with how the vest turned out, with the improved fit and length over the first version, and I'm glad I didn't have to cut any corners to get it done in time.
With the vest finished on Thursday afternoon, that gave me a little bit of time to work on some of the accessories I wanted to add to the outfit: a remake of my kyber crystal necklace:

And a matched pair of magnetically-attached lapel communicator badge greeblies:

I did a lot of reading up on lapel greeblies and communicator badges that appear in official Star Wars media, as well as looked around a bunch of fan-made ones. Most fan-made ones are 3D printed these days, but I don't have access to a 3D printer, so I rounded up some craft foam and a bit of plastic from an egg carton that had a cool texture, and checked my aging paint supply to see what colors I could make work. Lapel greeblies seen in Star Wars are almost always silver metal colors, with red, yellow, and blue accent colors, so I stuck with those.
I used some of the leatherworking tools I bought when making my belt to punch holes in some thinner craft foam, to make something that looks like a speaker grill. It's not perfect, but I'm really pleased with how these turned out, especially for a first attempt at making a Star Wars greeblie.
Sadly the one thing I did mess up was the polarity of one of the magnets I used (out of the 16 I glued on, four each on the interior and exterior portion of each greeblie), which I didn't discover until we were just about to walk out the door to head to Disneyland. Without enough time to glue it back on the right way, I just peeled the magnet off and left one upper corner without a magnet at all -- and at some point in the night, it snagged on something and fell off without either of us noticing. But the other one did survive the night (and is now being used as a fridge magnet lol), and we did manage to get this one photo of me wearing the greeblie on my vest:

I debated bringing my lightsaber and carrying bag again this year, but in the end I'm glad I did, as I was able to take it out and spin it around a few times throughout the night (including getting to jam out to the Modal Nodes at the end of the night). Besides that, we spent the evening eating yummy themed food, people watching (so many people in costume!) and riding a few rides.


Having now gotten to wear my SamĂŚni Ray outfit to Disney on three very different days -- a random Tuesday in February for my birthday, a weekday Star Wars Nite in April last year, and Sunday May the Fourth Star Wars Nite this year -- Jack and I had some interesting discussions comparing and contrasting each of our Batuu trips.
This year's Star Wars Nite was much busier than last year, and I heard that the May the Fourth night was the only one that sold out. The costuming from other attendees was an order of magnitude better than last year, so we got to do more people watching, but the trade off was that the lines for everything were a lot longer. We did have a few moments of being in Batuu and not having anyone in our direct line of sight that wasn't in costume, which was particularly cool.
But at the same time, there's something really special about going to Galaxy's Edge on a slow day in the park and being the only ones Batuu Bounding. We got a lot more personal attention from Cast Members and were able to take our time since we stayed in that one area of the park all day long. The night we went for my birthday didn't have fireworks or a projection show, but that's the one thing I might want to try to schedule around if we were to do this again in the future.
As for future trips, we don't currently have anything planned, and I think we might be on a cooldown for Disney trips in general for a bit. It looks like the next Star Wars Celebration, in 2027, will be in Los Angeles, and if we were somehow able to go to that, I could see breaking out this outfit again (along with some more traditional cosplay), but other than that I think I may just try to incorporate some of the pieces into my wardrobe when I'm feeling particularly Star Wars-y.
And as for next sewing projects, once I cleaned up the mess I'd left on my craft table with all the last minute greeblie work, I got straight into drafting patterns for the next few things I want to sew. I've got one, maybe two more patterns I want to draft before I shift gears into actually sewing, but I'll make a post about each of those projects as they start to come together.
#my sewing#Batuu Bounding#Star Wars Nite#Star Wars Nite 2025#Batuu vest#greeblies#SamĂŚni Ray#Samaeni Ray#2025 mood#gonna add this in the tags just so I can stumble across it later:#at the end of the night we got one last snack and found an empty place along the Rivers of America to wait for the Modal Nodes to come by#their last scheduled appearance was at 12:30am and when we got there the (non-Star Wars) live band was just wrapping up their final set too#and the last song the live band played was the Cantina song typically associated with the Modal Nodes#by that point I had been walking around and carrying my two bags for about 6 hours and my shoulders were tight and sore#and since we found a little empty spot right next to the Mark Twain/Columbia boarding area with an empty bench and everything#I decided to take off my bags and my hooded wrap and power up my lightsaber#and stand there doing all my flow arts moves to the Cantina song#which was fun and helped my shoulders a TON#then that song ended and I put my saber away figuring that the Modal Nodes would be coming out momentarily and then we'd want to head home#and basically as soon as I got my lightsaber put away the music started up again for the Modal Nodes#Jack had finished the last of his late night snack so he got up to jam to the music with me#and after about 3 seconds we realized that we could do our (limited) swing dance moves to the Cantina song#so we stood there in that little empty corner right beside the river swing dancing to the Cantina song for a couple of minutes#but did in fact remember to stop dancing and turn and watch the Modal Nodes go by lol#just such a clear crisp memory in my head and one of the highlights of the entire evening#we probably looked like goofballs but I'm okay with that lol#we'll add that to the list of places we've danced in Disney#which include the library in Tower of Terror when we had it completely to ourselves one time#and various times in Adventureland when something like Moonlight Serenade comes on the Jungle Cruise radio#all such good memories
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this is the field i work in and i am not exaggerating even a little when i say that libraries and archives are fundamental to a healthy, educated, and free populace. information is freedom. education is freedom. itâs no surprise that the current administration is seeking to limit and even eliminate access to the many, many services libraries provide.
if you are in the us and are so inclined the link leads to the american library associationâs editable form letter regarding this issue. just enter your address and it will find your representatives.
everylibrary, the american alliance of museums, and the american association for state and local history also have form letters/call scripts/petitions available.
#institute of museum and library services#libraries#archives#museums#my current position likely wonât be affected but any future work#as well as the work of many peers in the field will certainly be#lams are not perfect by any stretch but for them to improve there must be funding and resources#a lot of good work being done will be entirely rolled back by defunding#and even the most basic services will likely be curtailed
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alright heard. i bought my tickets and i'm going on thursday
should I go see the toxhards in okc.
#i genuinely wasn't going to go but. your wise words have convinced me#just bc i don't know their discography (yet) doesn't mean it won't be fun#so far the only concerts i've been to have been bands whose entire library i've basically memorized LMAO#also i do want to see him wear that pig suit.#gonna be my first concert post-meltdown let's see how that goes
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i know this means absolutely nothing to most people but basically all of the little web game things I've made recently (angels in automata, hex plant growing game, d.a.n.m.a.k.u., life music, sudoku land, the metroidvania style map editor, etc etc etc) are all entirely self-contained individual client-side html files that can be downloaded and run offline and have literally no libraries or frameworks or dependencies, because i'm an insane woman who enjoys hand coding my input handling and display code from scratch in vanilla js and having it all live in one single html file with the game logic and the page structure and the page style all just living and loving together side by side in a universal format that can be run by any web browser on any devixe. i'll even include image files as base64 data-uri strings just to keep every single asset inside the one file.
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okay well i went through every purchase transaction saved to my PSN account and archived every single one of them everything from 2016 to current year *collapses on the pavement and turned into a egg and fries also*
#i say from 2016 - current cause thats when that account was created#i realized halfway through that a lot of things will be missing because i split purchases with someone else at the time#so a lot of the purchases i made were saved and preformed on HIS account and i paid for half of them. which was a bad deal#do not do this btw just a word to the wise. i've done it multiple times and every time the friendship collapsed and i lost my entire librar#and also they got every game of theirs 50% off basically cause we split the price but they kept the licensing. dont be like me#if you share libraries with people just like dont rely on it or add to their library just like purchases you wanna make#make sure you have them right ... yaknow. ...#but this isn't nothing there WAS a lot of stuff on there#and now i dont have to do it again
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I miss my school's old library...
#it used to be SO BIG and there was an entire area for computers and a place to sit around#and my english teacher had a knitting club going on which is why i know the very basics#but then lockdown happened and after it the library moved because they had to accommodate for another school..#everything is so cramped now...
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Office Hours
Pairing: student-athlete!Paige x tutor!reader
Genre: enemies to flirting to losing your mind, paige is a little shit, slow burn but not really, tension so thick itâs basically a third character, paige is failing bio and somehow itâs your problem, cocky athlete x academically unhinged girl, tutoring sessions turned emotional warfare, dirty shirley temples, smut incoming
Description: Paige Bueckers is failing biology, and you're the unlucky tutor assigned to drag her out of academic disaster. What should be a simple arrangement becomes anything but, thanks to her complete lack of focus, relentless flirtation, and the infuriating way she manages to get under your skinâand into your head.
Between chaotic study sessions, surprise bar encounters, and more sexual tension than should legally exist between two people trying to discuss mitochondria, itâs clear that the real test isnât the midterm. Itâs whether you can make it through the semester without either making out with herâor killing her.
One thingâs for sure: Paige isnât the only one getting schooled.
WC: 9.6k (and growing)
Notes: im back?
The library is way too quiet. The kind of quiet that makes your own breathing sound deafening, where every shuffle of paper or tap of a pen echoes like a gunshot. Itâs the kind of silence that should be perfect for studying. Should be.
Except Paige Bueckers is sitting across from you, and Paige Bueckers doesnât give a single shit about studying.
Instead, sheâs leaned back in her chair like sheâs lounging courtside instead of being one bad test score away from academic probation. Sheâs got her long legs stretched out beneath the table, sneakers tapping lazily against the floor. Her hoodieâway too oversized for someone whose entire existence is dedicated to agility and precisionâis slouching off one shoulder, and sheâs twirling a pen between her fingers like sheâs dribbling down the court with a shot clock winding down. The sleeves are bunched up just enough to show her forearms, strong and lined with faint muscle from years of training, but the only thing working right now is her mouth.
Grinning. Smirking. Teasing. Doing everything but reading the goddamn textbook in front of her.
âAlright, Paige,â you sigh, pushing your notes toward her for what has to be the third time. âWe need to focus. You will fail this class if you donât start studying.â
Paige doesnât even blink. Doesnât move an inch beyond a lazy stretch that makes her hoodie ride up just slightly, flashing the waistband of her shorts. Her smirk deepens like she can feel you noticing.
âYeah,â she drawls, tilting her head, âbut then Iâd have to take it again next semester. Which means more quality time with my favorite tutor.â
You stare at her. She stares back. The kind of look that feels like a staredown before tip-off except way less athletic and way more are you seriously this insufferable?
She holds the eye contact, easy as anything, while you struggle to remind yourself that she is only your student, not a professional flirt sent to ruin your life. Her eyes gleam in the dim library lighting, playful and sharp at the same time. Her lashes are unfairly long, brushing against her cheeks when she finally blinks.
Your heart rate picks up. Not from that. From the academic crisis happening right now. Obviously.
âYouâre not failing on purpose, right?â You narrow your eyes suspiciously.
Paige tilts her head, pretending to ponder, lips pursing slightly. âHmm. No, but if I did, would that be kinda cute?â
You groan dramatically, dragging a hand down your face. âI am this close to committing academic misconduct and just taking the test for you.â
Paige gasps. Actually gasps, pressing a hand to her chest in faux offense. âWow. I knew med school was intense, but I didnât realize you were out here ready to commit federal crimes for me.â
âThatâs it,â you announce, pushing back from the table. âIâm done. I quit. Find someone else to teach you about mitochondria.â
You barely make it an inch before Paige reaches across the table and hooks two fingers around your wrist, tugging you back down like you weigh nothing. Her grip is firm, all strength and controlâlike sheâs grabbing a rebound, like sheâs got her hands on the game ball in overtime. Your pulse jumps again, this time definitely because of that.
Her fingers linger for a second longer than necessary before she releases you. But sheâs still watching you, expression softening just slightly around the edges. âCâmon, stay,â she says, voice lower now, like a secret. âI promise Iâll actually pay attention this time.â
You cross your arms. âOh? And what changed?â
She leans forward this time, elbows on the table, chin propped on one hand. The lighting catches the sharp angles of her cheekbones, the curve of her jaw. Sheâs smiling, but itâs something different nowâsomething slower.Â
âFigured out that if I fail,â she murmurs, eyes locked on yours, âI wonât have an excuse to see you anymore.â
Your brain does a full system reboot. Error. What the fuck did she just say?
âWhâPaige.â
She just winks, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip for half a second before her grin spreads, slow and satisfied. âWhat? That was cute, right?â
You grab your pen and point it at her accusingly. âYou are so goddamn lucky youâre good at basketball, because if you had to rely on your brainââ
âIâd still get by,â she interrupts smoothly, shooting finger guns at you. âPeople tend to go easy on the charming ones.â
Your mouth actually falls open. Not on purposeâjust an involuntary reaction to the sheer, unbelievable audacity of this girl. Sheâs failing biology, hasnât written down a single note, and still has the goddamn nerve of a mathlete coasting through an easy A.
You snap your jaw shut, you refuse to let her see how flustered you are. You refuse. âOkay, charming one, then explain the process of cellular respiration.â
Paige squints, lips pressing together as she sucks in a breath through her teeth, nose scrunching like sheâs really trying to make something shake in that head of hers. âUh⌠itâs when cells⌠respire?â
You pinch the bridge of your nose, inhaling slowly through your teeth. âWe are so, so fucking doomed.â
She just laughs, kicking her feet out beneath the table, accidentally knocking her knee against yours. âRelax,â she says, her grin widening. âYou love tutoring me.â
âDo I?â
âYeah,â she nods, completely sure of herself. âYou totally have a little crush on me.â
You let out a dry, incredulous laughâone of those sharp, breathy ones, all eyebrows raised and head bobbing. âYeah, sure.â
She shrugs, tapping a finger against the open page of her biology textbook like she might actually start paying attention. Then, without looking upâ
âNah, I know.â
You blink. Paige blinks back.
The air between you tightens like a taut shoelace, pulling, pullingâdangerously close to snapping. You could be the bigger person here. You could roll your eyes, let it go, return to the noble pursuit of keeping Paige Bueckers from academically imploding.
But something about the way sheâs looking at youâtoo smug, too sureâstrikes a competitive nerve in you. And youâre not about to lose anything to her. Not a game, not a staredown, and sure as hell not a battle of wits.
So you shift in your chair, tilting your head, letting your lips curl just slightly. âOh, you know?â
Paige leans back again, arms crossed, shoulders loose. Sheâs cocky, sure, but thereâs something anticipatory in her gazeâlike she knows youâre about to challenge her and sheâs thrilled about it.
âMhm.â She nods, casual as ever. âCrystal clear.â
You hum, feigning thoughtfulness, tapping a finger against the open textbook. âWow. Must be nice. I thought you struggled with retention, but here you are, remembering things that have literally never been said.â
She gasps. âRude.â
âYouâll get over it,â you deadpan.
Paige, of course, does not let it go. She tips her chin up, meeting your gaze with something wicked and playful tangled in the blue of her eyes. âOkay, fine. You donât have a little crush on me.â
You exhale, relieved.
âBut you definitely think about me when Iâm not around.â
Your breath catches. Paige sees it. Her grin stretches wider, knowing, smug.
Oh, you are not letting her have this.
You scoff, shifting back in your chair, fighting the warmth creeping up your spine. âPaige, you are in my life solely because you canât pass basic biology. I think about you in the same way people think about a fire alarm that wonât stop beeping.â
âAh, so constantly?â
You scowl. She beams.
âThatâs fair,â Paige shrugs, stretching her arms over her head, and the movement makes her hoodie ride up again, flashing a sliver of tanned stomach. âI am pretty unforgettable. Even when Iâm annoying.â
âEspecially when youâre annoying,â you mutter.
Paige smirks, but then, as if sensing your growing frustration, she sighs dramatically, rolling her eyes and dragging her textbook closer. âAlright, fine. Iâll study.â
You narrow your eyes. âFor real?â
She winks. âScoutâs honor.â
âPaige, you were never a scout.â
âProve it.â
You sigh but relent, watching as she flips open the book and actuallyâmiraculouslyâstarts reading the page in front of her. You take a sip of your now-cold coffee, reveling in the small victory.
For a blissful forty-five seconds, Paige is silent. Thenâ
âSo, like,â she starts, âmitochondria. Thatâs the powerhouse of the cell, right?â
You pause. Blink. Lower your coffee. âYes?â
Paige throws her hands in the air. âLetâs gooo. Iâm a genius.â
You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. âPaige, you have three weeks until your exam. We need to cover way more than that.â
âOkay, okay,â she soothes, putting her hands up in surrender. âNext question.â
You flip to another page, glancing up briefly to make sure sheâs paying attention.
Sheâs not. Sheâs looking at you.
You pause, caught off guard by the way sheâs watching youânot with teasing amusement or lazy smugness, but with something softer. Warmer. Curious.
âPaige,â you warn, shifting uncomfortably.
She blinks, then grins again, but thereâs something slightly less sharp about it now. âNothing, nothing,â she mutters, shaking her head, flipping a page in her book. âJust thinking.â
You hesitate, unsure if you want to ask, what about? But you donât.
Instead, you clear your throat, turning your attention back to the book. âOkay. Explain the process of osmosis.â
Paige tilts her head dramatically. âIs that, like, when you just chill through life and things come to you naturally?â
âOh my god, no,â you deadpan.
She grins. âDamn. Thought I was onto something.â
You sigh, rubbing your temples. âWe are so fucked.â
Paige just laughs, bright and easy. âNah. Youâd never let me fail.â
She says it like itâs a fact. Like she knows, without a doubt, that youâd never let hers fall behind. And the worst part is sheâs most definitely right.
She twirls her pen between her fingers, spinning it effortlessly like a basketball rolling off the tips of her hands. Itâs hypnotizing, actuallyâthe smooth rotations, the lazy way her fingers flick with just enough control to keep it from dropping. Sheâs been doing this for the last ten minutes, and not once has she even pretended to read the page in front of her.
Meanwhile, youâre hunched over your notes, taking deep, steadying breaths. You tell yourself you wonât let her test your patience today. You wonât get dragged into her game. You wonâtâ
âPaige,â you say, voice strained.
âHm?â she replies, still flipping her pen effortlessly.
âPlease read.â
Paige hums noncommittally. Turns a page without reading it. You inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. âPaige.â
She finally looks up, resting her chin on her palm, eyes bright with amusement. âWhat? Iâm absorbing information. Through osmosis.â
You close your eyes, count to three. Consider what your life would be like if you had literally any other tutoring assignment.
âYou are so lucky youâre athletic,â you mutter, flipping the page back to where she was actually supposed to start reading. âCâmon. Photosynthesis. What do you know?â
Paige stretches her arms behind her head, her hoodie riding up slightlyâdistractinglyâbefore she drops back down with a smirk, looking at you like sheâs about to deliver the most groundbreaking scientific revelation of all time.
âPlants⌠make food?â
Your eyelid twitches.
âCorrect,â you deadpan. âAnd they do that throughââ
âThe power of love,â Paige interrupts, placing a hand over her chest. âAnd sunlight.â
You grip the edge of the table. Consider flipping it over. âYes. Because thatâs what biology is. Disney magic and good vibes.â
Paige grins. âExactly.â
You open your mouthâprobably to unleash a scathing lecture about the sanctity of scienceâwhen a shadow hovers at the edge of the table. You glance upâbecause you always have to glance up when people stop by your study sessions with Paigeâand find a girl, probably a freshman, clutching her phone like itâs a sacred artifact.
She shifts on her feet, looking like sheâs debating whether she should even speak to Paige. You can already see where this is going.
âUh, sorry to interrupt,â the girl says, eyes darting between you and Paige, before ultimately landingâunsurprisinglyâon Paige. âCould I, um, get a picture? If thatâs okay?â
Paige doesnât miss a beat. She shifts effortlessly from Slacker Paige to Cool Superstar Paige, flashing an easy grin as she leans back in her chair like she expected this. Like this is as common as someone asking her to pass the salt at dinner.
âOf course,â she says, voice warm, inviting, polished. She stands smoothly, rolling her shoulders back, exuding that same relaxed confidence she has right before sinking a step-back three.
You, meanwhile, remain seated, taking a slow sip of your coffee, already resigned to your fate as Paige Bueckersâ unofficial designated library bodyguard.
Itâs routine at this point. The public adoration, the excited stammering, the sheepish thank you so much before they rush off like they just met royalty. And then Paige slides back into her chair, knocking her knee against yours like she doesnât have an entire fan club scattered across campus.
âWhere were we?â she asks casually, flipping her pen again.
You donât even blink. âYou were pretending to study, and I was contemplating my life choices.â
Paige snorts. But before she can respond, another person approaches. You glance up again, already prepared, already so tired. This time, itâs a guyâtall, student-athlete vibes, definitely not looking at you.
âHey, sorry,â he says, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly nervous despite the fact that Paige is already smiling at him like theyâre old friends. âCould I get a picture real quick?â
Paige grins. âYeah, of course.â
You take another sip of your coffee. Stare blankly into the abyss. Same process. Paige stands, poses, flashes her million-dollar smile. The guy stammers out a thanks and hurries off.
You exhale. Set your coffee down. âYou done?â
Paige barely has time to smirk before two more people shuffle up, practically vibrating with excitement. She notices your unimpressed expression and loses it, biting her lip to keep from laughing. âOkay, now itâs funny,â she murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear.
âNow itâs funny?â you echo flatly.
She grins. âYeah. You look miserable.â
You scowl. Paige beams. Another five minutes pass before the final wave of admirers disperse, and Paigeâfinallyâsinks back into her chair, looking far too pleased with herself.
âI should start charging,â she jokes.
You arch a brow. âShould I start charging? Iâm the one sitting here like an unpaid security detail.â
Paige grins, drumming her fingers against the table. âYou could be my manager, you know. Weâd be an iconic duo.â
You scoff. âWeâre not even an iconic study group.â
âYet,â she corrects.
You roll your eyes but, reluctantly, glance at the time. The session should go another thirty minutes, but between Paigeâs inability to focus and her impromptu meet-and-greet, youâre pretty much out of patience.
âFine,â you sigh, shutting your book. âWeâll pick this up next time.â
Paige fist-pumps like she just nailed a game-winner. âLetâs go.â
You raise a hand. âButââ
Paige groans.
âYou actually have to study next time,â you warn, pointing a finger at her like a parent scolding a child. âNo excuses. No distractions. No impromptu fan club meetings.â
Paige nods solemnly. âOf course. One hundred percent. Fully locked in.â
You squint at her. âYouâre lying to my face.â
She grins. âYeah. But I did it really well.â
You let out a slow breath, collecting your things, already knowing that next time will be just as chaotic. But, somehow, you donât hate the idea.
You barely make it two steps out of the library before Paige falls into step beside you, hands tucked into the front pocket of her hoodie, head tilted toward you like sheâs waiting for something. You donât say anything. Neither does she. But sheâs still there, walking at your exact pace, still spinning that damn pen between her fingers like sheâs making it her personal mission to erode the last of your patience.
After half a block of this nonsense, you finally huff. âWhy are you still here?â
Paige smirks, eyes twinkling. âWow. I thought we were friends, and you hit me with why are you still here? I think I need to sit down. That was devastating.â
You resist the urge to shove her into a trash can. âYou should sit down. With a biology textbook.â
âThat,â she sighs dramatically, âsounds like a you problem.â
You groan, but the corners of your lips twitchâjust slightly. She glances at you again, side-eyeing, like sheâs waiting for you to say something else. You donât. So, instead, she nudges your arm with her elbow. âYou heading back to your dorm?â
âYep,â you say, adjusting the strap of your bag. âWhere some people go to actually study.â
Paige grins. âFun. I was gonna hit the gym.â
You pretend to be shocked. âNo way. The gym? You? Unheard of.â
She chuckles. âYeah, yeah. Crazy concept. Gotta keep these knees in top shape so I can keep playing dumb for you in the library.â
You roll your eyes, but your lips do twitch again. When you reach the intersection where you usually part ways, Paige hesitatesâjust slightly. Her foot taps against the pavement, and she glances at you, like thereâs something she wants to say but doesnât.
But then the crosswalk light changes, and she just flashes her usual grin. âAlright, Iâll see you next time. Canât wait to waste more of your valuable time.â
You shake your head, already walking away. âYou are a waste of my valuable time.â
Paige calls after you, voice dripping with smug amusement. âAdmit it! Youâd be bored as hell without me!â You donât respond. Maybe, just maybe, she has a point.
You barely manage to kick the door shut behind you before dropping your bag to the floor, the weight of the entire goddamn week peeling off your shoulders like an old sticker. Your body feels wreckedâlike you just played all four quarters of a game you werenât even supposed to be in. Midterms, tutoring, the endless cycle of pretending you have your shit together when in reality, youâre two missed assignments away from a full-on breakdown.
Your roommateâs bed is empty, the perfectly made sheets an immediate giveaway that sheâs already at her boyfriendâs place for the night. Which means the dorm is yours. Finally. A rare and precious occurrence, like a solar eclipse or a professor canceling class with a two-minute email. You grab your laptop from the desk, already knowing exactly how youâre gonna spend the next five hours: Desperate Housewives. Your guilty pleasure. Your lifeline. Your emotional support chaotic suburban drama. You settle onto your bed, wrapping yourself in a blanket cocoon, cracking your knuckles in preparation for an evening of zero responsibilitiesâwhen your phone rings.
You groan dramatically, not even bothering to check the screen before answering. âNo.â
Thereâs a pause, then Jordanâs voice comes through, unimpressed. âBitch, you donât even know what I was gonna say.â
âYes, I do,â you sigh, rolling onto your back. âAnd the answer is no.â
âYouâre being difficult,â she complains. âCome out with me.â
âNo.â
âCâmon. Itâs Friday night. You have no excuses.â
âI have the best excuse. Iâm too fucking tired.â
Jordan makes an exaggerated scoffing noise. âTired from what? Sitting across from your little basketball girlfriend and watching her pretend she doesnât know how to read?â
You freeze. âSheâs not myââ
âUh-huh.â
You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. âJordan.â
â[Redacted],â she mimics in a deep, mocking tone. âCome out. Iâll buy your first drink.â
âYou say that like youâre doing me a favor. Itâs literally one drink.â
âOkay, and? Youâre broke.â
Sheâs got you there.
âI have plans,â you try again.
âWhat plans? Watching white women commit crimes in wedge heels?â
You frown. âThatâs oddly specific.â
âBecause I know you.â
You press your lips together, because yeah. She does.
Jordan senses weakness and pounces. âYou never go out anymore,â she whines. âItâs tragic. Iâm watching my best friend turn into a sad little academic goblin. Whenâs the last time you flirted with someone for fun?â
âIââ You pause. And thatâs enough for Jordan.
âOh my god.â
âI donât need to flirt with random people, Jordan,â you argue.
âOkay, then come to keep me company. Emilyâs bringing her crypto bro boyfriend and I need a buffer. You owe me.â
âFor what?â
âFor being my best friend, dumbass.â
You let out a long, slow exhale. Your bed is so soft. Your show is right there. Your roommate isnât gonna be back till morning, which means you could fall asleep watching hot moms commit felony-level fraud and no one would judge you. But Jordan is relentless. And also, maybe, just maybe, sheâs right.
âUgh, okay, fine, one drink,â you say finally.
She screeches. âIâLL BE THERE IN TWENTY.â
âWait, what theâ twenty?!â
âYou donât get time to back out, babe. Love you! Bye!â
The call disconnects. You stare at your ceiling for a long moment before groaning into your pillow. Guess youâre going out. You sit on the edge of your bed, staring at your closet like it personally wronged you.
Twenty minutes. Less than that now. Jordan is on time when it comes to dragging you out of your self-imposed hibernation, so you donât have the luxury of procrastinating. You run a hand through your hair, sighing as you debate your options.
Jeans? Safe. A dress? Too much effort. Skirt? Trying too hard.Â
You pull open a drawer, fingers brushing over the usual suspects: black tank, oversized tee, hoodie. The same exact shit you wear every day. You tug at the hem of your pajama shirt instead, already debating if you could get away with staying in. Jordan would literally break into your dorm if she had to.
You settle on something in the middleâblack jeans that just hug your waist enough to be flattering without suffocating you, a tight long-sleeve that makes your arms look good, and sneakers. Cute but low effort.
Your reflection stares back at you from the mirror above your desk, and your mind does that thing. That thing where you start thinking in spirals, words layering on top of each other like a too-thick coat of paint. Jordan always looks good when you go out. The hot friend, effortlessly wanted. Guys slip her their numbers, girls compliment her makeup, and you? Youâre there. Background noise. The best friend, the safe choice, the one people never approach first.
Your hands move on autopilot, pulling your hair into something presentable, smoothing out wrinkles in your shirt. Your brain moves just as fast, thoughts piling up. Whenâs the last time someone wanted you? Really, genuinely wanted you?
Not for help on an assignment. Not for a favor. Not as a buffer against some awkward third wheel situation. Your fingers tighten around the mascara wand as you swipe it over your lashes, the thought hitting heavier than it should.
And then thereâs her. Paige. Paige, who everyone wants. Paige, whose name alone makes people light up, whose smile makes the world lean in closer. Paige, who has the kind of effortless pull that shouldnât be real, the kind that isnât real, except it isâbecause itâs her.
You imagine what it must be like. To be wanted by everyone. To have people go out of their way just to see you. To be loved by an entire fucking world that doesnât even know you. To have that kind of pull. You shake your head, dabbing concealer under your eyes, fixing nothing. Paige doesnât have to think about this. About being ignored. About whether or not someone is really interested or if they just need her for something else. Paige is easy to love.
Your hands are steady as you apply lip gloss, but your thoughts arenât. Because you know whatâs worse? Worse than not being wanted? Feeling like you could beâif only you were someone else. A sharp knock-knock-knock at your door makes you jump, snapping you out of whatever existential spiral you were just sinking into.
You check the time. 7:59. Jordan, always on time when it comes to dragging your ass out of the house.
âBitch, open up,â she calls through the door, impatience already seeping through her voice. âI know youâre in there, donât make me break in.â
You roll your eyes, grabbing your phone off the bed before opening the door. Jordan doesnât even wait for an invitation. She just steps in like she owns the place, eyes immediately scanning you up and down.
âOh, thank god,â she exhales dramatically, throwing herself onto your bed like she just finished a marathon. âFor a second, I was scared you were gonna pull some bullshit and answer in sweats.â
âI was considering it.â
âAnd I wouldâve dragged you outside as is.â
She props herself up on her elbows, eyes narrowing slightly. âYou look good, though. Like, sexy but nonchalant. Very âI donât try but I still eat men alive.ââ
You snort, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull your sneakers on. âThatâs exactly what I was going for.â
Jordan flips onto her back, legs kicking lazily. âHot girl vibes activated. Iâm proud.â
You ignore the way that your brain still insists on running her words through some dumb internal filter. Hot but? Sexy but? Thereâs always a but. Still, you appreciate the compliment.
Jordan rolls onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. âOkay, so whatâs our game plan?â
You raise a brow. âGame plan?â
She grins. âAre we flirting for fun tonight? Making out with strangers? Taking free drinks and saying thanks but no thanks?â
You scoff, standing to grab your jacket. âYouâre doing all of that. Iâm drinking one drink, pretending I enjoy being in public, and then leaving.â
Jordan makes a dramatic gagging noise. âYouâre so lame, it physically hurts me.â
âYeah, yeah.â You throw on your jacket, checking yourself one last time in the mirror before turning back to her. âLetâs just get this over with.â
Jordan squints. âYou know, for someone who never goes out, you could at least try to fake some excitement.â
You sigh, grabbing your phone. âFine.â You flash her your most half-assed smile. âYay. Alcohol.â
Jordan stares at you for a long beat. Then she cackles.
âI hate you,â she wheezes, hopping off the bed and slinging an arm around your shoulders. âCâmon, grumpy girl. Letâs get you drunk.â
You let her steer you out the door, already bracing for whatever the night has in store.
The bar hums with low conversation, the steady pulse of bass from the speakers vibrating against your ribs. The air is thickâspilled beer, cheap whiskey, the faintest trace of cologne as someone brushes past you. Itâs crowded, bodies pressing in too close, the kind of warmth that clings to your skin, dampens the edges of your sleeves.
You plant your elbows on the bar, exhaling slow. Jordanâs already disappeared into the crowd, her voice lilting somewhere behind you, laughing too loud at something she probably doesnât even find funny. You donât bother looking back. You just need a drink, something cold in your hand, something to make this whole night feel less like a mistake.
The bartender moves in front of you, nodding once in acknowledgment, and you orderâautomatic, easy, something you donât have to think about. While you wait, you glance around, taking in the room.
Itâs packed, but thatâs expected. The usual Friday night chaosâpeople gathered in clusters, leaning into one another to be heard over the music. A group near the dartboard erupts in laughter, a guy raises his arms in exaggerated victory, another flips him off good-naturedly. At the other end of the bar, a girl tugs her friend closer, whispering something into her ear, their giggles swallowed by the noise.
And thenâ a flash of blue. You donât think anything of it at first. Just a hoodie, nothing more. But then thereâs another. And another. A guy walks past, a UConn logo stretched across his chest, the lettering cracked and faded from too many washes. At a nearby table, someoneâs peeling the label off their beer bottle, the cuff of their UConn crewneck pushed up to their elbows. A girl at the bar turns her head, revealing the unmistakable emblem stitched into the side of her cap.
Your drink lands in front of you with a soft clink. You reach for it, fingers curling around the condensation-slicked glass, but your eyes are still moving, scanning. Near the pool table, someone slams a cue stick down, shaking their head. âBro, that was insane.â
âI told you,â another guy laughs, taking a swig of his beer. âThey were fucking unstoppable.â
A bartender walks by carrying a tray of shots, and someone calls out, voice sharp with excitementâ
âTo the Huskies!â
A cheer rises, loud and immediate, glasses raised, grins splitting across faces. Your fingers tighten around your drink. Another voice cuts throughâcloser, rough around the edges like itâs been shouting for hours. âBueckers was on fire.â
Your stomach tenses. A television flickers in your periphery, mounted above the bar, the broadcast running highlights on a loop. A flash of white jerseys, a blur of movement, the unmistakable arc of a three-pointer sinking clean through the net.
Your gaze catches on the name emblazoned across the back.
BUECKERS. 5.
Your drink sits untouched in your hand. A hand lands on your shoulder, nails cool against your skin. Jordanâs voice cuts through the hum of conversation, bright, energized.
âThere you are,â she says, leaning in so you can hear her. Her breath is warm against your ear, smelling faintly of whatever sugary drink she got roped into first. âWhy do you always ditch me the second we get here?â
You lift your glass, taking a slow sip before responding. âI didnât ditch you. You ran off.â
Jordan grins, squeezing your shoulder before letting go. âDetails.â
She slides onto the stool beside you, propping her elbows on the bar, the sheer confidence in her posture making it clear that sheâs already in her element. You can tell from the way her shoulders are loose, from the easy way she scans the roomâsheâs here to enjoy herself. She tugs at the collar of her cropped tank, a calculated movement, and you donât miss the way a pair of eyes flicker toward her from across the bar.
Of course. It never takes long. The girl is prettyâhigh cheekbones, sharp jaw, hair spilling in soft waves over her shoulders. Sheâs nursing a drink in one hand, the other tracing idle patterns into the wood of the bar. Sheâs been looking, you realize. Long enough for it to mean something. Long enough for it to be deliberate.
And Jordan? She notices. She always notices. You watch as she tilts her head slightly, lips curling at the edges, all slow-building amusement. Not an invitation. Not yet. Just an acknowledgment. I see you seeing me. And just like that, the girl moves.
She slides closer, just one seat between her and Jordan now, her presence a hum of subtle perfume and confidence. You feel the shift immediately, the way the space around them tightens, charged with something unspoken. You take another sip of your drink, eyes flicking between them. Jordan doesnât look over right away. She lets it build, that delicious tension she thrives on, makes the girl wait for it. And when she finally turns her headâslow, purposefulâitâs a hook.
âHey,â the girl says, voice smooth, honeyed.
Jordanâs lips part slightly, amused. âHey yourself.â
There it is. The shift, the moment the conversation has already decided what itâs going to be. The girl twirls the stem of her glass between two fingers, considering. âYouâre a little hard to miss.â
Jordan lifts a brow. âYeah?â
The girl nods, a smile playing at her lips. âSaw you the second I walked in.â
You huff a quiet laugh into your drink. Jordan flicks you a glance, but she doesnât look away for long. Sheâs locked in now, her full attention settling on the girl beside her.
âThat so?â she murmurs.
The girl leans forward slightly, just enough that Jordan can smell whatever floral-citrus perfume sheâs wearing. âMhm.â
Jordan takes her time responding, letting the moment stretch, her fingers tapping lazily against the bar. âAnd whatâd you think?â
The girl laughs, low and knowing. âI think I liked it.â
Jesus. You shake your head, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. This is Jordanâs playground, and sheâs barely even started. Before she can respond, a familiar voice cuts in.
âThere you are, finally.â
Emily. And, by default, her crypto bro. You turn just in time to see her sliding in beside you, her expression teetering between fond exasperation and mild relief, like she was worried you wouldnât actually show. Her boyfriendâgod, whatâs his name again?âis hovering a step behind her, already half into whatever overpriced IPA heâs nursing.
âThought you were gonna bail,â Emily says, bumping your arm.
You shake your head. âAlmost did.â
She laughs. âWouldâve sent Jordan to physically drag you out of bed.â
âShe already threatened to.â
Jordan, not even looking at you, raises a hand and flicks her wrist. âAnd I wouldâve done it with love.â
Emily grins before turning to Jordan, about to say something elseâuntil she sees the girl. And immediately, her expression shifts.
âOh,â she says, blinking once. Then, lips curving slightly, she leans in, dropping her voice just enough for you to hear. âSheâs hot.â
Jordan doesnât turn her head, but her smirk deepens. âI know.â
The girl doesnât flinch, unfazed by the blatant cockiness, the sheer Jordan-ness of it all. If anything, she looks more intrigued.
âGod, youâre unbearable,â Emily mutters, sipping her drink.
Jordan, at this point, is fully ignoring all of you. Sheâs gone, deep in the slow back-and-forth of a conversation thatâs teetering right on the edge of something. You watch, mildly entertained, as the girl tucks her hair behind her ear, as Jordan lets her gaze flick lower, just for a moment, before meeting her eyes again.
Classic. Youâre about to tune them out entirely, return your focus to the drink in your hand, whenâ
The door swings open.
And just like that, the energy shifts. You donât see them at first. You feel them. A ripple through the crowd, a flicker of awareness in the way people turn their heads, in the subtle glances exchanged between strangers. The volume dips for half a secondânot silence, just a shift, a momentary lapse before everything surges back up again.
Your eyes track toward the entranceâtoward the new arrivals pushing through the threshold, stepping into the bar with the ease of people who know theyâll be noticed. White sneakers. Loose sweatpants. Jackets slung over shoulders. And that unmistakable color.
UConn blue.
Jordan is still locked in, her conversation with the pretty girl unfolding in the slow, deliberate way that only happens when both people know exactly what theyâre doing. Itâs all prolonged eye contact, subtle shifts in body language, the kind of flirting that exists in the pauses as much as in the words. Emily is barely paying attention, absorbed in some argument with her boyfriend about blockchain or whatever the hell it is he does. Youâve stopped listening.
Which means youâre just⌠there. Third-wheeling at a bar, drink half-finished, barely contributing to the conversation. The worst part is, no one even notices. Jordan, obviously, is in her own world, and Emily is too preoccupied with rolling her eyes at her boyfriend to remember you exist. You take another sip of your drink, letting your eyes wander.
The UConn girls have spread through the bar now, weaving into the crowd like they belong there. You recognize a few facesâplayers youâve seen on highlight reels, names you donât know but should. Thereâs a looseness to them, an ease, the kind of relaxation that only comes after a win.
You wonder, absently, if Paige is here. Not that it matters. The thought makes you shift slightly, pushing down something vague and uncomfortable. You finish off the last sip of your drink and set the glass down a little too hard, the soft clink barely audible over the noise.
âI need to piss,â you mutter, mostly to no one.
Jordan doesnât react, too busy letting the girl touch her arm in that slow, lingering way that means sheâs definitely coming home with her later. Emily gives a halfhearted wave, her focus still locked on her boyfriend, who is currently explaining something with way too much hand movement.
You slip into the crowd, navigating the maze of bodies with the kind of single-minded determination usually reserved for final exams and finding your phone when itâs on silent. The bass from the speakers vibrates through the floor, thrumming up through your sneakers, settling somewhere in your chest. Every step feels like walking through molassesâpeople shifting, swaying, arms brushing against yours in that careless way that comes with alcohol and too many bodies packed into one space.
You make it to the hallway leading to the bathrooms and nearly sigh in relief. Itâs quieter hereânot quiet, but enough that you can hear yourself think. The walls are still pulsing faintly with the music, the distant echo of a chorus threading through the air, but itâs a reprieve from the chaos of the main bar.
And then you see the door. Locked.
Holy fuck, youâre about to piss yourself. You try the handle anyway because maybe the universe will be kind, but noâsolid, unmoving. Leaning against the opposite wall, you exhale sharply, blowing a strand of hair out of your face. Fine. Youâll wait. Not a big deal.
Except time starts dragging. You shift your weight from one foot to the other, tapping your fingers against your thigh. One minute passes. Two. You check your phone, even though you just checked your phone.
Okay. You can handle this.
Exceptâfive minutes in, itâs not just uncomfortable. Itâs annoying. Who the fuck is in there? Writing a novel? Performing a one-act play? Curing a disease?
You knock once, firm but not aggressive. Just enough to remind whoever is inside that thereâs a whole world out here.
No response. Another minute passes. You cross your arms, shifting again, foot tapping against the floor. Seven minutes.
You knock again. Harder this time. âYo.â
Nothing. Oh, come on. You glance toward the menâs bathroom. Itâs right there. Completely open. No line. Just an empty doorway leading to salvation. Wouldnât be the first time. But before you can talk yourself into it, you knock again. Hard. Impatient. At this point, youâre not even polite about itâyou just hit the door. âHurry up, Jesus Christ.â
The lock clicks. A second later, the door swings open, and out stumbles a coupleâdisheveled, flushed, and absolutely not here to use the bathroom for its intended purpose. The girl giggles into her boyfriendâs neck, her lipstick half-smeared, while his hands are still gripping her hips like theyâre considering going back in for round two.
You donât even react. You just shove past them, slam the door shut, and finallyâfinallyârelieve yourself. Blessed silence, aside from the muffled bass still thumping through the walls. You take a moment to breathe, running your hands through your hair, shaking off the weird tension thatâs been clinging to you all night. Youâre fine. Itâs fine.
When you step back out, the hallwayâs busierâmore people filing in, laughing too loud, waiting their turn. You navigate through them, dodging the wobbly, half-drunk girl clinging to her friendâs arm, sidestepping the guy trying way too hard to look casual against the wall. Youâre almost back to the main floor whenâ
A hand catches your wrist. Firm, deliberate. Enough pressure to stop you, but not enough to hurt. Your breath stuttersânot from fear, not exactly, but from the sheer certainty in that grip. Like whoeverâs holding you already knew they would.
You turn your head. And there she is.
Paige fucking Bueckers.
Loose hoodie, sleeves pushed up, exposing the lean muscle in her forearms. A chain glinting under the dim bar lights, catching for half a second on the sharp line of her collarbone before disappearing beneath fabric. Her hair is a little messier than usual, like sheâs run a hand through it one too many times. And her expression?
Smug. Smug as hell.
âWell, well, well,â she drawls, her grip on your wrist still firm, thumb brushing once over your pulse before she finallyâleisurelyâlets go. âFancy seeing you here, tutor.â
Her voice is low, teasing. The kind of tone that makes you want to roll your eyes and press your thighs together at the same damn time.
You exhale sharply. âOh, fuck me.â
Her grin widens instantly, wolfish. âI mean, if you insistââ
You smack her arm, and she laughs. Not just a chuckle, but a full-bodied, head-tilted-back, entirely too pleased with herself kind of laugh. Itâs obnoxious. Itâs attractive. Itâs exactly why you need to get out of this conversation immediately.
But Paige has other plans. She steps closerâjust enough that you feel the heat of her body, just enough that the crowd shifts around you, forcing you to stay exactly where you are. Her gaze drops, just for a second, flickering down your outfit before dragging back up, slow, deliberate.
âYou clean up nice,â she muses. âDidnât know you owned anything other than oversized sweatshirts.â
You narrow your eyes. âDidnât know you left the gym.â
She hums, tapping her chin like sheâs considering. âTrue. But, you know, when you drop thirty-six points in a game, you kinda have to celebrate.â
Of course she dropped thirty-six.
âAnd yet,â you deadpan, âhere you are. Bothering me.â
Paige grins, shifting on her feet so sheâs even closer, close enough that you can smell her cologneâsomething crisp, clean, expensive. Unfair.
âCâmon, donât act so surprised,â she murmurs. âYou knew weâd run into each other eventually.â
You raise a brow. âDid I?â
She tilts her head, amused. âYeah. âCause youâve been avoiding me all week.â
Your pulse skips. âI have notââ
âOh, you definitely have,â Paige interrupts, smirking. âDonât think I didnât notice you switching up your usual schedule. Skipping our tutoring session on Tuesday.â She clicks her tongue, shaking her head. âTragic. Really had me wondering if I did something to offend you.â
God, sheâs insufferable. And yetâ
âLike you care,â you shoot back.
Her eyes glint, sharp, knowing. âOh, I do.â
Something thickens in the air between you. Something tangible, humming just beneath the surface of her cocky smirk, her unwavering stare. Her fingers twitch at her side, like sheâs considering reaching for you again. You see it happen, the micro-movement, the shift of her weight like sheâs deliberating. And then, just as quickly, she exhales, straightening to her full height.
âWell,â she says, her voice dipping into something smoother, softer, âif youâre not avoiding me, then I guess you wouldnât mind grabbing a drink with me, huh?â
You blink. âWhat.â
She jerks her chin toward the bar. âDrink. You. Me.â
You hesitate. That same pressure returns, that feeling of everyone wants her, but somehow, right now, sheâs locked onto you. Paige watches you, the ghost of a grin tugging at her lips. âWhatâs wrong, tutor? Afraid you might enjoy my company?â
Your jaw tightens. âI tolerate your company.â
She smirks. âThen come tolerate me at the bar.â
Your mistake wasnât stopping when she grabbed your wrist. Your mistake was letting her talk. Because now Paige fucking Bueckers is smirking at you like sheâs already won something, head tilted, hands shoved in the pockets of her hoodie like sheâs lounging through this entire interaction. You can already feel yourself being pulled into her orbit, and she knows it.
âA drink?â you echo, squinting at her. âYou? Drinking?â
Her smirk grows. âShocking, I know.â
âLemme guess,â you deadpan. âProtein powder with a splash of vodka? Maybe a nice gatorade-infused tequila?â
Paige gaspsâactually gasps, pressing a hand to her chest like you just accused her of a heinous crime. âWow. You think so little of me.â
âI think exactly the right amount of you.â
She exhales dramatically, shaking her head. âTragic. Here I am, just a small-town basketball star trying to enjoy a simple, wholesome night out, and my own tutor is out here slandering my good name.â
You raise a brow. âYour good name?â
She nods solemnly. âThatâs right. I am, at heart, a simple girl with simple pleasures.â Then, as if to punctuate the absolute bullshit she just said, she throws an arm around your shoulder, leaning in until her lips are a breath away from your ear. âLike dirty Shirley Temples.â
You choke. On nothing. Paige pulls back, just enough to see your reaction, the sharp glint of amusement in her gaze practically sparkling.
âNo fucking way,â you manage. âYou drink dirty Shirley Temples?â
She grins. âReligiously.â
âThatâsââ You blink, at a complete fucking loss. âThatâs the most unserious drink you could have possibly chosen.â
Paige winks. âAnd yet? It goes down smooth.â
âOh, I bet it does.â
She laughs, full and warm, tilting her head like sheâs considering something. âYâknow,â she muses, âI like this side of you.â
You narrow your eyes. âWhat side?â
Paige drops her voice, lowers it into something silkier, something that slides down your spine in a way that should be illegal. âThe one that flirts with me back.â
Your brain short-circuits. âExcuse me?â
âOh, donât play dumb now,â she murmurs, fingers tapping lazily against the side of your arm like sheâs keeping count of your heartbeat. âYouâre usually so good at keeping up.â
You hate that sheâs right. You take a slow breath, forcing yourself to regain some composure. âYou are so full of shit.â
Paige hums. âMaybe. But you seem to love it.â And then she winks. A full, obnoxious, Paige Bueckers-grade wink.
Oh, you are not going out like this. You lean in, just barely, watching the way her smirk twitches, the way her fingers still on your arm. âTell you what,â you say, keeping your voice light, casual, like youâre not insanely aware of how close she is. âIâll let you buy me a drinkââ
Paige perks up. âYeah?â
âIf,â you continue, âyou admit that Iâve been absolutely kicking your ass in our tutoring sessions.â
Her lips part. âOh, hell no.â
You grin. âWhatâs wrong? Afraid of the truth?â
She clicks her tongue, shaking her head like sheâs personally offended. âNo fucking way. Thatâs extortion.â
âThatâs accountability.â
She squints at you. âYou are so lucky youâre hot.â
Your breath catches. For a split second, you completely malfunction, and Paige fucking sees it.Â
She grinsâhuge, like she just sank a game-winner at the buzzer. âOhhh, that got you, huh?â
You snap back immediately. âDid not.â
âUh-huh.â She crosses her arms, rocking back on her heels. âYou were fully thrown off just now.â
You roll your eyes, trying to pretend like you didnât just combust internally. âYou gonna buy me that drink or what?â
Paige sighs like youâve personally exhausted her. âFine,â she relents. âBut Iâm getting you my favorite.â
You smirk. âA dirty Shirley?â
She grins. âExactly.â
And with that, she grabs your handâjust for a second, just to tug you toward the bar, just long enough to make your pulse spike before she lets go.
The bar is packed. Bodies pressed together, voices overlapping, the occasional burst of laughter breaking through the thumping bass. Paige moves through it like she owns the placeâshoulders loose, hoodie slouched just right, that damn chain flashing under the dim lights. You follow, pretending your eyes arenât tracking the way her sweatpants sit just low enough on her hips to be distracting.
She leans against the bar, elbow propped up, and tilts her head at you like sheâs studying something.
You squint. âWhat.â
Her lips twitch. âNothing. Just trying to figure you out.â
âYouâve had months to do that.â
âYeah, but you keep surprising me.â She drums her fingers against the counter, slow and rhythmic. âLike, for example, I knew you had some bite to you, but tonight? Youâre really showing your teeth.â
You cross your arms. âMaybe Iâm just extra annoyed by you today.â
Paige hums, tilting her head like sheâs considering. Then, before you can react, she leans inâclose, warm, too closeâand brushes her lips just against the shell of your ear.
âNah,â she murmurs, voice dipping low. âYou like it.â
A slow, rolling shiver spreads down your spine.
Paige pulls back, just far enough to meet your eyes, her smirk lazy and so fucking smug. She knows exactly what she just did. You hate that sheâs right. Before you can retaliate, the bartender appears. Paige turns, all casual ease, and grins.
âTwo dirty Shirleys,â she says.
The bartender raises a brow but nods, moving to make the drinks. You stare at Paige. She shrugs. âHey, a dealâs a deal.â
âYou actually meant it?â
âDuh,â she says. âWhat, you think I just flirt for fun?â
Your lips part, because yes, obviously, thatâs exactly what you think. Paige sees the way your expression shifts, and her grin deepens. âAw, babe, donât tell me you thought I was playing with you.â
You blink. âIââ
She tuts, shaking her head. âSee, now I really need you to drink this, âcause you need to loosen up.â
The bartender slides the drinks over. Paige pushes one toward you, watching expectantly. You hesitate. Paige lifts hers and clinks the rim of her glass against yours. âCâmon, tutor. Donât be scared.â
Scared? Oh, that does it. You grab the glass and take a sip, the sweet bite of grenadine and vodka coating your tongue. Paige watches the way your throat moves when you swallow, her lips parting just slightly.
Just like that, the game shifts. You lower the glass, eyes locking with hers.
âNot bad,â you murmur. Then, mirroring her move from earlier, you step in just enough to make her breath hitch, tilting your head slightly like youâre about to say something importantâsomething deep, something meaningful.
And thenâ you drag your tongue slowly over your bottom lip and the blondeâs eyes darken. You almost laugh, but her hand suddenly brushes against your waist, just a whisper of contact, the heat of her palm radiating through your thin shirt. Itâs briefâso brief you could almost pretend it didnât happenâbut the way your skin burns says otherwise.
âShit,â Paige mutters under her breath, just for you to hear.
You smirk. âSomething wrong?â
Her jaw tightens. âNot at all.â
She takes a sip of her own drink, eyes never leaving yours, throat bobbing as she swallows. The moment stretches. ThenâPaige exhales sharply, like sheâs shaking something off, and grins. âAlright, alright, you win this round,â she admits, nudging your arm with hers. âDidnât know you had that in you.â
You tilt your head. âGuess youâll just have to keep figuring me out.â
She chuckles, shaking her head. âGod, youâre fun.â
Then, so casually, she hooks a finger into your belt loop and tugs. Itâs playful. Itâs barely anything. But itâs also everything. Because she doesnât let go. You swallow. Hard.
Her voice is softer now, but the teasing edge is still there. âI like this side of you.â
You clear your throat, trying desperately to focus on something other than the warmth of her touch. âYou said that already.â
Paige smirks. âYeah. But I really like it.â
Paige is cocky. Too cocky. The kind of cocky that drips off her like itâs stitched into her damn DNA, like she was born knowing how to get under peopleâs skin, into their heads. And right now, sheâs looking at you like sheâs already inside yours, like sheâs set up shop in the most dangerous corners of your mind and made herself comfortable. She still has her finger hooked in your belt loop. Just resting there, like she belongs there.
âYouâre staring,â she murmurs, sipping her drink, tongue flicking out to catch a stray drop of grenadine before it can slide past her lip.
Your jaw clenches. You look down at her grip on your jeans, then back up. Blatantly.
She smirks. âWhat, this?â She tugs. Not hard. Just enough to make the fabric of your jeans pull against your hip, just enough to remind you sheâs right there.
You donât move. âLet go.â
She hums, tilting her head. âNah.â
Your fingers twitch around your glass. âPaige.â
She exhales, all mock exasperation, finallyâfinallyâreleasing her hold. But before you can celebrate your very minor victory, she leans in, voice dropping to something dangerously smooth. âRelax. You can touch me if you want.â
Your breath catches.
She laughs, tipping her drink toward you in mock salute. âYouâre so fun to mess with.â
You narrow your eyes, pulse still skittering from the low, teasing way she said touch me. âYouâre insufferable.â
Paige hums. âMaybe, you like it.â
And there it is. The line. The one sheâs been waiting to say, the one sheâs been circling since the second she grabbed your wrist.
You roll your shoulders, schooling your expression into something neutral. âYouâre alright.â
Her brows lift. ââAlrightâ? Wow.â
You sip your drink, unfazed. âI mean, you are failing bio.â
Paige scoffs. âUnnecessary.â
âJust saying. I donât think geniuses need tutors.â
Paige smirks. âNah, but they do need entertainment. And you, babeââ she tips her chin toward you, eyes gleaming, ââare so fucking entertaining.â
The casual babe nearly stops your brain completely.
You grip your glass tighter. âI should charge you extra.â
âFor what? Intellectual stimulation?â
âFor being exhausting.â
Paigeâs grin widens. âYet, here you are. Still talking to me.â She takes another slow sip of her drink, eyes locked onto yours over the rim of her glass. Watching you. Like sheâs waiting for something.
You shift your weight, feeling entirely too seen, entirely too open under that gaze. Paige notices. Of course she does. Her lips part, her tongue pressing against the inside of her cheek like sheâs considering something.
Thenâbefore you can reactâshe leans in.
Your body locks up.
She gets close. Not teasingly close, not almost closeâactual close. The kind of close that makes your heart trip over itself, the kind of close that makes your breath catch in the back of your throat.
Her lips hover right there, her breath warm against your jaw. Then, quietly, smuglyâobnoxiously:
âWanna make out?â
You freeze.
She grins. âWhat? You look like I just asked you to solve a physics problem.â
âAre you serious?â
Paige tilts her head. âNah, I just like watching you panic.â
Sheâs so fucking unbearable. You set your glass down with a sharp clink. âYou think youâre funny.â
âI know Iâm funny.â
âYouâre a menace.â
She beams. âYou donât seem to mind it.â
Maybe itâs the alcohol, or the heat of the bar, or the way Paige is looking at you like she wants somethingâlike sheâs daring youâbut suddenly, your patience snaps.
You grip the front of her hoodie and pull. She barely has a second to react before your lips crash into hers. Paige groans. A low, gravelly sound that vibrates against your mouth, sending heat shooting straight to your stomach. And fuck, she kisses back.
All cocky, eager pressure, her hands already gripping your waist, her fingers slipping just beneath the hem of your shirt like she wants to feel more.
The bar melts away. The noise, the people, everythingâall of it fades because Paige is right here, kissing you like sheâs been waiting for you to do this since day one.
You tilt your head, chasing the taste of vodka and cherry on her tongue, and Paige makes this obscene little noise before she presses in, deeper, her teeth grazing just enough to make your knees buckle. You gasp, and she smirks into the kiss, like she knows, like sheâs already winning again.
Asshole.
You yank at the waistband of her sweatpants, a little revenge, a little fuck you, and Paige laughsâlow, breathlessâbefore biting gently at your bottom lip, sending a full-body shiver down your spine. Your grip on her tightens.
She hums, pleased. âKnew you wanted me.â
You pull back, just barely, panting. âShut the fuck up.â
Paige grins, lips swollen, eyes gleaming. âMake me.â
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